Half an Acre
by Kaitsy
Summary: Lily & James oneshot. A reflection of their relationship, during the years after Hogwarts and while belonging to the Order of the Phoenix.


**"Half an Acre"**

**abc.**

Hi, okay. This is something that came to me and it was quite accidental and there's not much of a structure to it, I promise. It's not the sort of one-shot that can leave you wanting more because it's just neat and wrapped up and I liked writing it. It's about Lily and James, I should clarify, because I don't often use their names. Once or twice, perhaps. They're sort of reflecting on and thinking of their relationship and coming to terms with how much the other means to them. It's not necessarily happy but I like it. So, enjoy. New chapter of All that Matters should be soooon.

**abc.**

It was May and they weren't married and they weren't going to be but he was a proud boy and proud boys often like to tie pretty girls down and give them their name and it was certain that she was a pretty girl. But they weren't married and he had bought her a ring and knew better than to ask because it was _her_ and he didn't think he had any business being with her, let alone marrying her.

So, it was May and there were flowers and green, green grass and oh, it was lovely. Kind of the merger, May was, between spring and summer and it might've been her favourite month, she had never really thought about it. There was something about the blue skies and the sweet smell that made her fall in love. She remembered it was May when she told him she loved him for the first time and maybe she was intoxicated by the cool breeze and the bright sun but it had stuck. They had stuck.

None were more surprised than them and he was really arrogant and really handsome and it had taken him years to get her. When it happened, he changed and she never imagined he was affectionate or doting but he was and it was startling.

His parents were dead and it wasn't a big deal because it had been years and he was responsible and she didn't know any of it and felt guilty when she had asked him. It made sense that he had such devoted friends because they filled any void he might've had. She often looked back on all of the years without him and was grateful his friends had taken such good care of him.

They fought a lot and it was expected, given their past – she had hated him, to be honest and he had fancied her. She was fiery and redheaded and he thought it was so fitting.

Sometimes she would hex him and sometimes she would curse at him and one time she had been so vile, had said things that made him stop in his tracks and look at her and he had felt the tiny hairs on his neck and arms stand up because he hated her so much in that moment – He had grabbed her and threw her down onto the sofa and shouted at her until he was hoarse, and she deserved it. She had bruises on her arms the next day and she wore a flowing, sleeveless dress to spite him.

He apologized when he saw her that morning, in the kitchen of their flat making breakfast – scrambled eggs and French toast – and she kept her nose in the air, not saying a word to him. And he deserved that. They ate breakfast quietly and she sipped her tea in an irritating way and it was as if she was taunting him to touch her again, to dare hit her or something but he never did and he apologized to her again when he left for the day.

It was a kind of turning point in their relationship and they were having company that night – just Sirius and his girlfriend and Remus – and he came home and begged her to put a sweater on, he felt really sick seeing her waltz around with massive bruises on her arms. She told him he shouldn't've done it and then cried into his shirt.

There was an image of her people had in their minds and she was perfect and beautiful and such, _such_ a good, innocent girl. He had never, ever seen her that way but could understand where it came from, why some saw it – It had to do with her pale skin and her wide green eyes and _oh, Lily I would believe anything you told me. _

It had been a year or two – _what, you can't remember? It's been nearly two years_, she'd tell him – since they'd gotten together and nearly as long since they had graduated and it was a dark world these days. Dark wizards and Death Eaters and there was an organization they both joined to try to stop it, to try to fight it. She talked openly about dying young and he believed he was going to save the world and there was something she remembered about ying and yang. They both had their reasons for joining the Order of the Phoenix but the main one was because of the other. She joined because of him and he joined because of her and this was what she considered romantic.

She got up at dawn and took the paper when it came and read it and would mutter about the unreliability of the _Prophet._ They didn't report half of the deaths or attacks that were happening these days and it made her so angry.

He slept late that morning and she sat up drinking tea and reading the paper as she had been doing and it was when she saw the name _McKinnon_ that she stopped. The article began on the front page and was immediately cut off and she tore desperately at the paper, trying to get to where the story was continued.

Marlene McKinnon was in the Order with them and she was sweet and funny and they had gone to Hogwarts together. And she was dead. Her entire family was, according to the _Prophet_ and she couldn't imagine them bothering to make something so disgusting up and she went a bit numb.

This one hit too close to home.

She woke him up and whispered to him what she had just read and all he managed to croak out was _how?_ with a pillow over his head as he lay on his stomach. Sitting cross-legged she read the entire thing to him, in a hushed, quiet voice and all of the lights in the house were off and she felt shaky and nervous. He propped himself up with his elbow and stared at her and brushed her hair off her face and told her everything would be all right. She appreciated it when he lied to her.

Marlene and her family had been murdered by Death Eaters and there was an emergency meeting held at noon that day. He looked ridiculous and brave, dressed in his slacks and shirt, beneath his robes. She wore a pair of shorts, sandals and a t-shirt – It was May she sang to him as he raised an eyebrow over her attire. It was May and it was warm and she had the kind of legs shorts were made for.

No need to panic, they were told at the meeting. Their Headquarters was sweltering hot and they didn't often sit side by side at these meetings. He flocked to his friends; to Sirius, Remus and Peter. She sat beside anyone, really, but he liked to watch her smile with Alice.

He chewed his lip, watching her from across the room as people talked in a steady murmur. Alice and Frank were married and Marlene had just died and she had a nice pair of legs – Why shouldn't they be married, too?, he thought. It made perfect sense in his mind, just then and he did not want to resent her but he wished very much that she would love him as much as he loved her.

When Dumbledore spoke it was in an urgent, authoritative tone and he wanted to leave after they were told not to panic but Dumbledore straightened them out.

"Things aren't getting any better," he said, "They're getting worse and it's a hard fact to deny."

James sat there glancing at her and wondering if she was, perhaps, the strangest company he had ever kept. She was fanning herself with some parchment and she caught his eye, mouthing to him _why is there a fire on_? And he nearly laughed just as Dumbledore said something about "heinous, vicious acts". She was a wonderful distraction from all that was bad in the world.

The meeting ended after an hour and she drank iced tea while the men brought out bottles of Firewhiskey and she always liked a man with a drink in his hand and a cigar in his mouth. It was some affirmation – Yes, I am a man. She played with her hair as she talked with Alice and people were crying, _Marlene was murdered_, and he pulled some face at her, gesturing to the cigar and the drink. He didn't smoke but rather held it; the drink he drank easily.

She took him for ice cream that evening; she ended up with some kind of sorbet and he with a small, vanilla cone.

"It's just May," he told her as they strolled down the sidewalk, his sweater draped over her shoulders – For it had gotten chilly and she was hard-pressed to admit it but he was a boy, a man and had the sense to notice that sort of thing.

"James, I don't want to be depressing," she took a spoonful of the sorbet and he told her eating the cone was half of the fun. "But it is just May and we are just twenty, but I can't help but feel suffocated and stolen. It just seems like there's no time for…living, really, and I think it's okay if we do things a bit out-of-season. It's warm enough for ice cream, darling."

He knew she was thinking _we might not even last until July_ but dared not say it. But he didn't know whether she was thinking they might not last until summer, until July because their relationship would meet the always – thought to be – imminent demise or because…they'd meet their demise. And he did not ask but put his arm around her shoulders and took her home.

When they arrived home she invited Sirius and his girlfriend, Remus, and Frank and Alice over because she did not like to be alone after tragedy. She was so strong and so smart but could not handle sitting at home, with only him by her side, after something like McKinnon's murder having just happened. She knew if it was just the two of them, they'd either talk or have sex and she was not in the mood for either. It made her feel better to have friends and company and she realized that evening that she was terrified of losing him.

They fell asleep that night, their guests either sleeping or passed out on a couch or in a spare room, and she had the covers pulled up to her chin, asking him to close the window she had been so determined to open.

She kissed him deeply and ran her hands back through his thick, dark hair and told him that she loved him, she promised and he could ask her to marry him someday. Maybe in the summer, she told him.

And he did and she said, in a way she thought was reluctantly, yes.

**abc. **


End file.
